ma olen kogu aeg mõtelnud, miks ma ei suuda oma tundeid kirja panna nagu enamik mu sõbrannadest. and i dont like the conclusion. tundub nagu kirjutamine ei ole minu jaoks, kuid samal ajal mõeldes võin ma panna kirja tuhandeid sõnu, eriti kui see toimub öösel, ajal mil peaksin und nägema. lihtsalt viimasel ajal on kõik kuidagi vastikult keeruline. ma olen üritanud end paremaks muuta ja kuhu ma sellega jõudnud olen? god how i hate myself right now. i  need to find a way out from this heavy load thats bringing me down. actually i need a sign that everything or at least something is going just the way i like it to be. everyone has their up's and down's, i know that... it's just that others have something that keeps them going and for what it's worth, i think i've lost mine. you all might think that i have everything, but you don't know my story. i've worked so hard to get where i am and right now it's hard to make the next step because i can't see the road. i have to take a dive into the unknown.